I attended a professional development function last week and found myself surrounded by fellow management consultants, training professionals, coaches and psychologists. There was an almost audible groan in the room as we were informed that each of us would have up to one minute to introduce ourselves to the others in the room. My quick mental calculation confirmed I would not make it home to my family for dinner.

Such was the concern about the possibility of tedium, even by the organisers, that they divided the introductions into two rounds (punctuated by other introductions from members of their staff). I must admit I did find it fascinating to watch and listen to the choices made by each of us on how to introduce ourselves; for even up to one minute revealed (even betrayed) something of our self perception; the salient self disclosures we wanted to share intermixed with what we thought our audience may want or need to hear.

If each of us had to give an elevator pitch, how would we define ourselves? Would people hear self belief, warmth, brinksmanship, empathy, hubris, self-deprecation, insecurity (perhaps reflected in trying ever so hard) or humility? Would we talk about our passions or our achievements; the people in our lives or the things we have accumulated. And most interestingly, would our self perception match the perception others have of us assuming they have had enough time to really see us in action.

Marcum and Smith in their book “egonomics” (Simon and Shuster 2008) identify some early warning signs of misplaced ego that include being comparative, being defensive, showcasing brilliance and seeking acceptance. In contrast they said the healthy embodiment of ego is evidenced in humility, curiosity and veracity, that is, the habitual pursuit of and adherence to, truth. The openness of humility, the curiosity that drives exploration of ideas and veraciously chasing truth helps us have courageous conversations and be able to close the gap between what we think is going on and what really is!