{"id":437,"date":"2018-08-02T14:00:00","date_gmt":"2018-08-02T04:00:00","guid":{"rendered":""},"modified":"2020-04-20T08:50:45","modified_gmt":"2020-04-19T22:50:45","slug":"waging-war-at-the-water-cooler","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/brashconsulting.com.au\/?p=437","title":{"rendered":"Waging War…at the Water Cooler"},"content":{"rendered":"

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It has often been said that as long as two people stay in a room long enough, there will be conflict. I think it\u2019s safe to say that we could put one person in a room and establish that they are, on a bad day, a seething mess of internal conflict!<\/span><\/div>\n
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We only have to contemplate what is happening in the world right now to know that as smart as we are, as technologically advanced as we are, we still haven\u2019t mastered some of the basics. Why might that be?<\/span><\/div>\n
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Is it because we don\u2019t know how or because we \u201cjust don\u2019t wanna\u201d! If we accept that conflict is\u00a0common,<\/span><\/i>\u00a0then do we accept that conflict is\u00a0inevitable<\/span><\/i>? I would suggest that some conflict is inevitable and it is here that it is useful to distinguish between\u00a0realistic<\/span><\/b>(objective) and\u00a0non-realistic<\/span><\/b>\u00a0(subjective or dynamics-driven) conflict.<\/span><\/div>\n
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Realistic conflict occurs between individuals clashing over opinions, beliefs, values, needs or resources.\u00a0<\/span>Sometimes we want different things and sometimes the same thing (even a piece of land or a country) but we can\u2019t agree on how to divide it. An example of realistic conflict may be budget allocation; a fixed pie with direct implications for the achievement of one party\u2019s outcomes when decisions are made. Non-realistic conflict stems from ignorance, intolerance, historical precedent or the need for tension release. Non-realistic conflict may occur where two individuals with different personality or operating styles and perhaps pent up negative experiences with each other, clash with each other verbally, physically, psychologically; often resulting in the adoption of two disparate positions and pushing them hard.<\/span><\/div>\n
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Let\u2019s not make a mistake. The two types of conflict are not mutually exclusive. Realistic elements of conflict can get inextricably caught up with the non-realistic elements. In our earlier budget example, rational pragmatic business decisions about the projects to fund or promote and which to divest can put hurtful competitive strain on relationships; both parties seeing the funding allocation issue as a reflection of their respective worth rather than as decisions which do or don’t align with strategic objectives. They take things personally and jockey for attention and resources in a win\/lose way.<\/span><\/div>\n
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Why do we bother to distinguish?\u00a0<\/span><\/b><\/b><\/div>\n
Very simply, realistic conflict must be managed. Non-realistic conflict can be avoided or eliminated. Let\u2019s recognise however that some people:<\/span><\/div>\n