{"id":434,"date":"2018-09-27T12:22:00","date_gmt":"2018-09-27T02:22:00","guid":{"rendered":""},"modified":"2020-04-20T08:47:18","modified_gmt":"2020-04-19T22:47:18","slug":"fallen-heroes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/brashconsulting.com.au\/?p=434","title":{"rendered":"Fallen Heroes"},"content":{"rendered":"
It was 2001. I\u2019d gone out on my own a few years before but still did some work through a large training organisation. I confess to being somewhat star struck by the account executive with whom I partnered. She was stylish, confident, resilient, and successful. When I grew up I told myself – I was in my 30s – I wanted to be just like her.<\/span><\/div>\n
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So that particular day, I got a call from a former client of mine from the Bank I\u2019d left to establish Brash Consulting. He \u201ccouldn\u2019t promise anything\u201d because they were speaking to other providers too but I\u2019d been highly recommended for design and delivery of a large scale roll-out of Employee Relations training for a major Australian airline. A dream gig doing M.A.D (Make a Difference) work. We made an appointment to meet.<\/span><\/div>\n
An hour later my \u201chero\u201d called with the most exciting news. Her RTO had just been invited to pitch for, you guessed it, a large scale ER roll out with an airline and when I was I free to meet them?<\/span><\/div>\n
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I told her I\u2019d already been approached. She sat on the other end of the line silent for what seemed like ages.<\/span><\/div>\n
To her credit she regrouped quickly to proclaim: \u201cOh, Leanne. That\u2019s great! When we go in together we\u2019ll have two chances out of three instead of one. Besides, they would surely prefer to go with a big training organisation than a boutique consultancy.\u201d<\/span><\/div>\n
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What was I thinking in that moment? Not necessarily. And the financial implications were hard to ignore as with her I\u2019d be working for less than half the fee charged and I really believed I had as good a chance as aforementioned RTO to win the business. I told her that politely and said I\u2019d need to think about it overnight.<\/span><\/div>\n
She sounded shocked, but again regrouped quickly to say: “Well, I can\u2019t believe this. To me it\u2019s a no-brainer, but sure. You think about it.”<\/span><\/div>\n
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And then came the knife in my heart as she continued: “But of course, if, say, another opportunity came up another time, I\u2019d have to remember that when\u00a0we<\/span><\/i>\u00a0had a great chance to work together,\u00a0you<\/span><\/i>\u00a0chose not to work with\u00a0me<\/span><\/i>\u2026..”<\/span><\/div>\n
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What\u00a0did\u00a0<\/span><\/i>I tell her the next day? That we\u2019d go in together.<\/span><\/div>\n
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Whenever I\u2019ve told that story on the platform, audiences have been shocked!<\/span><\/div>\n
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For those of you who do know me and the work I do, there is no doubt I would do it differently now.<\/span><\/div>\n
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I\u2019d be far less vulnerable to the mother-daughter-disapproval ritual. I would have backed myself, said \u201cNo\u201d nicely, and assertively called out the passive-aggressive thinly-veiled threat.<\/span><\/div>\n
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Months later, half way through the roll-out of the 53 workshops I would ultimately run for Ansett (of course it was!) she invited me to pre-Christmas lunch. It was tortuous. I realised the relationship could never recover. The woman I had looked up to, even idolised was a fallen hero.<\/span><\/div>\n
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Some people told me they felt the same way when Wayne “King” Carey cheated on his then wife and even more deeply when he became the subject of domestic violence and assault allegations. I know that Carey has worked hard to rebuild his life and his reputation but for some does the disappointment or the damage ever go away?<\/span><\/div>\n
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A member of my team told me how awestruck she had been by the inspirational wellness blogger, Belle Gibson, until Belle told the Women’s Weekly that she’d never had brain cancer so didn\u2019t cure herself and her hapless publisher, her family and the charities she had purportedly raised money for, paid the price.<\/span><\/div>\n
Having recently dipped back into the fascinating Watergate saga via the phenomenal podcast \u201cSlow Burn\u201d I was struck by how long Richard Nixon supporters stuck by him as John Dean turned, as evidence mounted and Oval Office tapes were released. Deep into 1974, over two years after the infamous break-in on 17 June 1972, one heard a multiplicity of rationalisations from \u201cThe President wasn\u2019t involved\u201d to \u201cEverybody does it\u201d to \u201cRemember Chappaquiddick and Teddy Kennedy?”<\/span><\/div>\n
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Neuroscience tells us we need vast amounts of contrary evidence before we\u2019re prepared to shift our position and even then we may move slightly and we may move late.<\/span><\/div>\n
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The human brain doesn\u2019t need to be logical, but it needs to be right.<\/span><\/i><\/div>\n
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What are everyday workplace examples in which we give people the benefit of the doubt when there isn\u2019t any?\u00a0<\/span><\/b>When we rationalise other’s behaviour? Or keep saying Yes when we want to say No? Or lose respect for failing to act? Or even become “dazzled” in the shadow of someone else’s aura and have others accuse us of denial?<\/span><\/div>\n
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Here are a few.<\/span><\/b><\/div>\n
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The employee who\u2019s chronically late and never counselled but brings energy and humour to the place when\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n
they\u2019re there!<\/span><\/div>\n
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The abrasive worker who is tolerated because they tell people they\u2019re stressed (and might be).<\/span><\/div>\n
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The blaming and shaming boss who continues to wreak havoc because, until and if anyone complains in writing, why bother? (Even with a sneaking suspicion that staff are too scared to complain).<\/span><\/div>\n
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The person with a representative role e.g. social club secretary or footy tipping coordinator, WHS rep or union delegate who spends much of their time not attending to core duties or using their positional power inappropriately.<\/span><\/div>\n
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The friend or family member of someone senior who gets all the opportunities precisely because they\u2019ve got friends in high places.\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n
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The educator with a poor reputation as a lecturer but students say nothing because they\u2019re an easy marker.<\/span><\/div>\n
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The person who engages in unethical practices but brings in significant revenue via questionable means likely\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n
contrary to the organisation\u2019s stated values.<\/span><\/div>\n
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How might we ensure we\u2019re seeing the picture fully and clearly? That we\u2019re not sitting in denial or delusion?<\/span><\/b><\/div>\n